Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Songs for the perfect make-out mix tape

Music is a blessing, in our lives. I truly believe that it has tremendous healing powers. Case in point: About thirty minutes ago I was dealing with an incredibly difficult teenager at work. If you know me, you know that I have quite a good bit of patience--but in this particular situation I was not far from leaping over my desk and hulking out on the afforementioned youth. I didn't, though...of course. That would've resulted in job loss, probable law suits, and (again, probably) some sort of court-forced therapy. Eventually the kid walked away and I continued to sit there shaking. Two minutes later another teen started playing "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley on his I-Pod. There are few things in this life that can sooth the savage wrath like a happy, chill, Bob Marley tune. I sat back, took in the song, and laughed in spite of myself. This job has it's ups and downs. Today's episode exemplified a "down." Luckily, they are few and far between. I need to remember that. I also need to remember Bob's words, "don't worry...about a thing. 'Cause every little thing, is gonna be alright." Most importantly though, I need to remember not to let dumb-ass thirteen year old's piss me off. Odds are that kid will probably get eaten by a lyger one day or something.

BUT ANYWAY! Today's blog features some of the more provacative picks from my music library. A list of twenty songs for the perfect make-out mix!

1. Bonita Applebaum, by A Tribe Called Quest
Let's start things out with a super sexy hip hop classic shall we? Oh my, yes.


2. Stranglehold, by Ted Nugent
Dirty, hot, strange and sassy. Say what you want about The Nuge. He may be a whackadoo conservative bow-hunting mad man. But wang-dang that long-haired hillbilly sure can write a hot damn tune.


3. Dazed n Confused, by Led Zeppelin
Black lights. Incense. A shot of bourbon. And a filthy, sexy Led Zeppelin record. Do you need anything else? NO. I didn't think so.


4. The Whipping Post, by The Allman Brothers
The Whipping Post has virtually the same effect as Dazed n Confused. The difference though is that there are varying versions of this song. If your lucky you can find some live versions that go on for more than twenty minutes. And hey, let's be honest. The longer the song the better on a make-out mix right? Yes. I thought so too. The version i've posted here features guest guitarist zakk wylde (yay!) and goes for nearly 15 minutes. :D


5. Young Lust, by Pink Floyd
::::shrugs shoulders and smiles sheepishly:::::


6. Happiness is a warm gun, by The Beatles
Is there a naughtier song by The Beatles than this one? Well, there is always the blatant "Why don't we do it in the road" but that one relies more heavily on the quirk factor, whereas Happiness is just straight up gritty and sensual but in a classy/bluesy sort of way. Nobody does it quite like The Beatles. ...no pun intended.


7. Purple Stain, by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
But then again what's wrong with a little quirk in your make out mix anyway? Such a compilation wouldn't be complete without a funky rendezvous from a track from the "By The Way" album by these delightful young men.


8. Heard it Through the grape vine, by Creedence Clearwater Revival
One word: SINister


9. Give in to me, by Michael Jackson
God he was good. This is a really under-rated song too. It's not as recognized as your "Beat it's" and "Man in the Mirror's" or your "Billie Jeans." The man had more problems than the universe could hold--but, Lord could he write a tune. Tsk.


10. Bang Bang, by Nancy Sinatra
My baby shot me down....A sexy tune doesn't always have to rock. It can be slow, and haunting, and dangerous.


11. Criminal, by Fiona Apple
I've been a bad, bad squirrel...


12. Honey Bee, by Tom Petty
This is quite possibly the most provocative song Tom Petty has ever written. Buzz awhile ;)


13. Cut Like a Buffalo, by The Dead Weather
I think this the most recent song on this list. The Dead Weather is of course one of Jack White's many musical projects. They formed in 2009 and have already released two studio albums. It's bluesy, like the White Stripes, but where the Stripes had more of a humorous edge, The Dead Weather is absolutely musical sex. The energy is so raw, and the tension is so tight you could bounce a silver dollar on it. "Cut like a buffalo" is from their first album, "Horehound."


14. Crazy, by Aerosmith
I guess....well....cause some guilty pleasures will never, ever, expire :)



15. Got you where I want you, by The Flys
did'ja know that I can dance? Could we talk for a while?


16. Swallowed, by Bush
Does this one take you back? It takes me back...


17. Fishin in the Dark, by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
Don't judge me. I want to live this song.


18. I Alone, by Live
Surreal. And oh so true.


19. Red House, by Jimi Hendrix
in the words of Jimi Hendrix, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH BABY." Need we say more? The song speaks for itself.


20. Say Goodbye, by Dave Matthews Band featuring John Popper of Blues Traveler
I don't know many songs that are simultaneously sweet, sad, strong yet delicate, sensual and evocative of a light summer evening. But this one has it all. "Say Goodbye" is a sexy, heart-breaking tune; and I can think of none better to round out a list of songs to put on a make-out mix.


Honorable Mentions: pretty much anything by She & Him

And now, ladies and gentleman, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, lovers and cousins (what?) i'm going to go home, and watch Macgyver


Next Week's blog: Songs that completely transform your mood


  1. A Make out mix for the ages my friend. Oh so good of you to put "Give In To Me" on there..... Michael was a lot of things on a lot of different songs, but you never believed the man wanted himself some loving more than on that track. My favorite off of the whole "Dangerous" album after "Gone Too Soon".

  2. I just realized there is a glaring error in this post. Purple Stain by the chili peppers is on Californiction. Not By the Way. I can only chalk this up to the fact that it was late in the day and my mind was starting to go all fuzzy like it does when it hasn't had caffeine of some form in over an hour. I go whip myself now.

  3. or someone can do it for you....